Exotics: How Super Are They?

mclaren-p1-monterey

Most of the time when you see a fancy shmancy Lamborghini or Ferrari out in our societal wilderness, it’s poppin’ a squat in the parking lot loyally waiting for its owner to come back from inside the mall with his or her’s new professional business attire.  You don’t really get to experience the asphalt stretching power, the smell of burning rubber, the smack of your head on the front of an alcantara seat, the sheer grip of some streetable race rubbers in a harsh corner or even the sound of a powerful motor howling from the harmonically tuned exhaust tips that these cars are equipped with.  

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Something Else

These cars are something not from this earth.  They defy the laws of motion, gravity and often make people question how in the name of Mother Nature they got so “God dang fast!”  Ironically, these are the cars that most usually get driven the least.  Their lives are static, covered, and full of obsessive dusting and waxing for the next time they get to a show so some big-headed (and frequently small headed, if you gents know what I mean) individual can say, “looky what I got.”

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Are They Super or Just Duper?

Most individuals not involved in the enthusiast world will look at these cars and understand that they are fast, great-looking and expensive.  That’s it.  Some will call them supercars, exotics, performance cars, hypercars even, but these people don’t know just how disgustingly awesome these go-fast machines are (even the people who own them.)  For most, they are just A to B tools that get a few more looks than the standard grey BMW, Mercedes or Audi.

I will tell you this:  You non-technicals are mistaken.  These cars are cool.  These cars are great.  They are fantastic.  Some are spectacular.  Others are breathtaking.  They are engineered by some of the most brilliant people you could ever know, if you had a way to know them.  They are techy.  They are incomprehensible.  And some…… a very few some……. could be dubbed………. SUPER.  So drive them you crazies!  Bring them to tracks and put the skinny pedal to the ground until you start shrieking shrieks of pure joy and unadulterated surprise and remorse!

lamborghini-aventador-sv-monterey

Not Just Big Wings and Fancy Things

The supercar is a celebration of why humanity exists.  It is a physical worship item of us materialistic monkeys that clap at the idea of going faster, cornering harder, revving louder, shooting flames further, and whatever other illogical funhavings we crave.  We are people; we want to make things better.  Supercars are BETTER.  They are the flagships of brands that say, “Hey monkeys!  Over here!  We got you a new toy.  Try it out!”

But we dumb monkeys don’t know exactly what makes these cars tick.  Materials like carbon fiber, aluminum, titanium and steel are all being revolutionized as we speak to become lighter and stronger.  Suspension geometry and technology is being tampered with to give us the grippiest of grip and the most comfortable ride possible while having the raciest car possible.  Engines are being force fed air with snail things and twisty screw belt driven fan pump majiggers so we can force-feed them fuel so we can force-combust them and force-blow noise out of their exhaust in efficient, yet violent ways.  There is so much that goes into developing a supercar’s windscreen wiper alone.

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Harmony:  The Birds Are Singing

Every little computer-crafted (sometimes handcrafted if you have the big monies) piece of these giant, ruthlessly accelerating jigsaw puzzles somehow come together to make a driving and functioning car that, if driven in a spirited manner, could both kill you and give you the most memorable experience of your life (The Ferrari above, for example, crashed into oncoming traffic later in the week, resulting in front end damage that, well, left the car without a front end.)  So if any of you enthusiasts out there want to bring a dump truck full of cash out to an exotic car dealership and purchase one of these things; please drive it like it has been designed to be driven, just on a track and possibly with a heavily padded helmet on.  Things do happen you know.  Just don’t let it sit in your spotless garage and weep in its own superness.  I will find you, and I will somehow take that car out of your garage carefully, gingerly, slowly, seductively……. and bring it to my nonexistent spotless garage without you hearing a thing.  I WILL BE MIME QUIET I AM WARNING YOU.

Anyway, cars are super.  Especially super cars.  I hope you readers have a super week, and it would be really super if you could check out my other photography/rant outlets below:

Car Instagram: @allroadsnation

Personal Instagram (the boring one): @blake_a_million

Facebook: All Roads Nation

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